I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
