I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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