just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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