you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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