I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I want to make a zoo with you.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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