I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
