Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
