haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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