Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
