What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
