LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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