Can Purell be used as lube?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
