this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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