Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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