I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
