Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize