dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
