idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
