I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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