I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
