Quick, to the slutcave!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
