This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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