You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize