I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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