did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
