I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Randomize
