Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she peed on how many people?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
