I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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