Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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