she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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