i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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