i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
