he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
