is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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