Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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