i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i out mim tonsoeep
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