ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
