What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think i have herpe
just one?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
