Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
last night I used snow as a chaser
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
