just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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