I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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