it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
