I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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