i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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