You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize