everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
