You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
