i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
