i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
