who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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