Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
