Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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