hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
if only i could text you this smell
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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