my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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